Living with grief and thriving after loss: a qualitative study of Chinese parents whose only child has died

Introduction: Chinese bereaved parents over the age of 49 who have lost their only child are known as shidu parents. This study aimed to explore their symptoms of prolonged grief disorder (PGD) and post-traumatic growth (PTG). Methods: Shidu parents who experienced the loss of their only child at least six months prior and had no biological or adopted children at the time of the study were recruited. Eleven shidu parents participated in individual interviews conducted in Mandarin via WeChat video or voice calls. The interview guide was developed by the first researcher and refined through discussions with doctoral students and a professor specializing in bereavement. Reflexive thematic analysis was used to analyse the data from the semi-structured interviews. Results: The interviewees (3 men and 8 women) were aged between 53 and 72 years, and the time since their child’s loss ranged from 2.25 to 24 years. Four themes of PGD symptoms were identified: Separation distress, Cognitive, emotional, and behavioural symptoms, Somatic responses and Changes in grief responses. Subtheme of ‘feelings of inferiority or shame’ and ‘somatic responses’ were prominent among this group, potentially representing culturally relevant grief reactions. They also experienced genuine PTG that helped them adapt to life without the child: changes in self-perception, changes in interpersonal relationships, and a changed philosophy of life. The subtheme of ‘living for self’ emerged as a potentially unique PTG among shidu parents. Conclusion: Shidu parents share some important similarities with bereaved individuals across cultures, but also exhibit some unique characteristics. Considering their persistent intense grief, regular screening for grief severity, physical issues, and suicidal ideation is essential. Culturally sensitive interventions that acknowledge and validate their sense of inferiority or shame may be beneficial. Additionally, fostering PTG may support shidu parents in coping with their loss and adapting to life.